5. D.H. Lawrence and Henry Miller
Their writing styles are quite different, but my primitive mind groups them together as writers who are both mostly famous for writing about sexy times. I think I prefer Lawrence simply because I can follow his writing easier. Also, did you know Henry Miller’s middle name is Valentine? You could pretty much get away with naming your kid anything in the 1800’s.
4. Alice Munro and Amy Hempel
I’m a bad writing student because both of these writers put me into a coma. I know they are at the top of their games, and I should be gratefully licking their literary boots clean, but their stories are virtually indistinguishable to me. I had to buy both of their collections, and I’ve written many an essay about them, praising their technical prowess. But now I am finally coming clean. On Tumblr.
3. Jonathan Franzen and David Foster Wallace
Both are writers from which I’ve mostly only read their short stories, essays, or articles and avoided their novels, mostly out of intimidation. (Though I read The Corrections when I once had the flu and liked it.) I feel like a Philistine for not really having a strong opinion on either of them, though I do enjoy reading about their social circles. I wish TMZ had followed them around back in the day.
2. P.G. Wodehouse and Evelyn Waugh
I think Evelyn Waugh is sharper and funnier, but I still think they’d raid each others closets, and their conversations would move at the same pace of a Gilmore Girls episode set in the early 1900’s. I imagine book designers always choose cartoonish, illustrated covers for their books because they think it will trick readers into thinking they’re the same author.
1. James Joyce and William Faulkner
I should probably stop now, as I’ve embarrassed myself enough.
