5. Roebling Tea Room // 143 Roebling Street

This was one of those place I passed a lot but never even considered going to since it looked so expensive. Then my co-worker suggested having lunch here and wanted to start with drinks. I immediately showed myself to be the non-alpha by ordering the “Fruit Cup.” I imagined it would taste like the nondescript juice in one those Del Monte mixed fruit cups I used to have in my lunchbox. It sort of did, so I was satisfied.

4. The Lovin’ Cup // 93 N. 6th Street

I ordered the “Sensual Healing,” cinnamon bourbon, apple juice, and lemon. I probably hoped it would taste like apple cider. I drank this while taking a break from dancing in the back room. The girls I was with insisted on making it a “classy” break. This meant we would not be ordering tater tots as a side. But then we saw that they had a Nutella and banana sandwich and decided to split that instead.

3. Ear Inn // 326 Spring Street

Apparently this is one of the oldest taverns in New York City, so it was no wonder they gave us a weird looks when “we” ordered three Malibu Bay Breezes. Don’t look at me. I was with the same girl from the Manhattan Inn (see below), so it was, once again, not my decision. We were also there for dinner, and they gave us crayons to draw on the paper table cloth. So it was part Irish pub, part Chili’s, part Sandals Jamaican Resort.

2. Ace Hotel // 20 W. 29th Street

I forgot what I ordered here, but I know that I liked it a lot. We came here on Halloween, and there were at least three black swans there. I was supposed to be a flight attendant, but I chickened out and didn’t wear my costume. Not because it was too sexy. In fact, I specifically looked for a non-sexy costume and eventually found one on a Japanese fetish site. But then I thought no one would dress up at the Ace Hotel. I was wrong.

1. Manhattan Inn // 632 Manhattan Avenue

I was here for a very depressing birthday gathering. I ordered something called “The French Future,” which had Prosecco, lemon, and St. Germain. I think only ordered it because it had the least number of ingredients on the menu. The birthday girl ordered a very expensive cheese plate with her cocktail, and since there was only one other person there besides me, I had to pretend not to cry when paying for everything.